The Light at the End of the Funnel
Have you ever felt like being a football?
Well, as weird as it might seem, I’m feeling like one these days.
I feel as if I am a football and 22 players (11 from each side), are all running after me, trying to take hold of me, kicking me in all directions in their unrelenting effort to throw me into the goal area of the opposite team.
That is how life becomes sometimes, and with all your planning and all your efforts to live a controlled and planned life, you simply are unable to do just that.
I used the word “events”—like your father being extremely sick all of a sudden, your child having trouble with his health, your wife expecting another baby soon and needing your attention, your business going down the drain due to no fault of your own, and stuff like that—stuff that is simply none of your doing and totally beyond your direct control.
How do you deal with that? How do you stop being a football? How do you request the 22 players to stop kicking your ass around? How do you manage to bring sanity back into your life?
The answer is the funnel.
If you take a funnel and look through it, closing the other eye, what do you see? You see only a tiny portion of what is in front of you. You see reality, but you see it in parts, patches and segments. And that is what makes you feel like you can handle the stuff.
You only focus on what is in front of you, and needs your immediate attention, and you give it to that, without worrying about what is going to happen next. You filter everything out and zero in on the task at hand, knowing that soon things will be back to normal, and they usually are after some time passes.
What you should avoid, is letting the things get to you, making you mentally confused and anxious. Keep your feet on the ground and whenever the events in your life get out of control, just see the light at the end of the funnel. 
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Thank you for a wonderful article Abubakar.
I love the concept of light at the end of the funnel and totally agree that focussing on that light, keeping your attention on this particular moment in time so that you no longer feel overwhelmed but back in control, works completely. Self care at this time is also so important and often forgotten. Taking some of your precious time and spending it on recharging your own batteries enables you to have the strength to get back in touch with your inner wisdom so that you can breathe again and cope with all that life throws at you. And who knows….it may even help you smile at those 22 players now charging past you, not at you, wanting to win just one match… while you remain safe in the knowledge that you have won so, so much more ….and regained control over your life!
Life in the funnel lane is wonderful!
Have a truly awesome day…
Thank you Sarah for your lovely comment. Indeed self care is important because without that the things will just keep on getting more complicated and more difficult to manage.
As you mentioned, charging one’s own batteries is a must.
Abubakar, nice to see you break the silence even with a short post. I know you have your reasons to be extremely preoccupied due to – as you say and clearly explain – no fault of your own so here’s hoping that things soon resume normalcy in your life. All the best from your friends and community….Focusing on what is immediately on the front helps! Best of luck, thinking about you and your family.
Nice to see the silence breaking away here as well, and might I add, if it weren’t for your nudging me, I might still be silent.
So thank you Farnoosh.
This is one reason everyone must have a friend like you in his or her life.
Thanks for such a lovely post. I needed to know this very badly as I am passing through a similar period now. Wishing you good luck for every thing always.
Nabanita,
I understand how tough it can become. My thoughts and prayers are with you. Just remember, my friend, that this shall pass too.
Hi Abubakar! You caught my attention with this one. Concentrating on our priorities is a great way to stay focused and not get overwhelmed. When we dissect life in little chunks, the whole becomes more manageable.
I find surrendering to be very helpful in times like this. Knowing that there is a bigger plan for my life that I don’t quite understand yet but that it will work out for the best in the end is also comforting.
Many loving blessings, my friend! May you have peace, love, and laughter on your path.
P.S. – I also shared it on my blog FB page. Best of luck!
Andrea,
Yes indeed surrendering helps, but I see that many people don’t really understand the concept of surrendering, and give it a negative meaning. I think you just gave me an idea for a new post. Thank you for everything, You are as sweet as always:)
Very ‘focused’ post. Being a mother of a 4.5 year old, a work-from-home mom, a blogger and an artist, I often go through these phases when things whirl out of my control for no fault of mine. But, staying put at that moment and focusing on the priority always sails me through. For exp: when my kid falls sick, nothing else bothers me – like – my business has taken a toll or the home is in disorder or weekends are not fun! Because, if I am stressed and bothering about other things not happening, I am sending negative energy to my child who’ll in turn not get better soon enough. So, all in all it will be a loss from all sides.
Hence why bother about correcting 10 things at a time when focusing on 1 can make things easier.
Rashmie,
Good to see you here again. I can understand the way you manage things as it is quite similar to mine when I feel overwhelmed. Thank you sharing with us your thoughts.
Also wanted to add dear that my wishes are with you. You’ll sail through whatever issue is bothering you at the moment with your positive thinking. Take Care.
That is so sweet of you. Thanks a lot my friend.
Keep you feet firmly planted and your eyes straight ahead and the road will be easy, despite all the bumps because you will be always ,always walking straight ahead
The positive spirit, trust that all will be well, will see us through.
God bless
Dear Uzma,
Glad to see you really. Thanks a lot for your kind wishes and please accept the same from my side. Do look after yourself.
Great post! Just what I needed to refocus. One step at a time is the only way not to be overwhelmed. Thank you.
Angela,
Welcome again my friend. Yes, one step at a time is the way to move (or crawl) ahead. Sometimes we have to crawl and it is part of life. Much better than staying still and doing nothing, at least.
Yes – life does in general feel like a football, but I guess events in life tend to make life worth while. The problem we face as Humans – mankind is that we do not know the real meaning of eternal. Everything around us is all temporary with limited life span – parents, wife, children, job, business, money and we all know that we shall leave this world without it just as we first came into it.
As I write this comment, from my office window I can see am old Victorian building and right at the top it has carved 1881. What is this 1881 telling me – is it telling me the birth of the building or is it telling me that it’s temporary existence is longer than mine, or is it telling me we see nothing around us that is eternal?
Everything around us is temporary and some of this temporary reality is created by man to serve mankind, then what is my purpose and my temporary reality is created to serve who?
We need to understand who we really are, recognise and realise what is more important, then we will be able to see which events in life require us time more. Events are not always a bad thing, since the human has the ability to adjust, learn, remember and have the intelligence to recognise future similar events.
Thank you for your lovely comment and the way you explained the impermanence of life itself. This helps keep things in perspective and shed a lot of emotional load.
Good stuff! I had exactly this kind of thing going on all week and much of last week (illness and deaths in family). Lots of stuff fell apart, but what I do is just concern myself with priorities, pretty much as you say here. What’s most important? Then what? And who cares about….irrelevant stuff like keeping the house clean or mowing the grass or doing laundry or even grocery shopping–eat what’s on hand even if it’s the same thing every day. So what if I worse the same pair of jeans all week lol Who cares? I don’t. What’s most important?
Must be going around–hope things are going better for you now!
Leah,
I hope things get better for you soon. We all get to live these phases in our lives and I’m glad to know you have the spirit and the wisdom to deal with such phases effectively. Thanks a lot for sharing with us.
This has also been on my mind. As September dawns, life becomes more complex. I find your recommended approach the best! Thinking about it all just amplifies the stress. Staying present in the moment dissolves it!
Thanks for the reminder. Wishing you the best with the challenges you face at this time.
Thanks Sandra for your kind wishes and hope that situation at your end gets back to normal soon too.
Hi Abubakar,
Interesting article. I bookmarked it on digg.
I agree with the idea of being able to be present, and deal with the situation at hand. We can all agree that worry about everything at once – especially things that seem out of your hands – is not helpful.
I do however take a slightly different angle in that I find focusing on one thing to be rather though when you’re forcing yourself to block everything else out. What works better for me is to rather allow myself to accept everything as is, let go of wanting to change it all right now (because it what it is for now), and allow myself to take action from that point of view.
Cheers,
Rishan
Rishan,
Welcome and thank you for your comment and especially for sharing with us your own approach of dealing with things when one feels overwhelmed, which I think, is equally valid and practical.
Hi Abubakar,
Very nice post! The best thing we do is concentrate on one thing at a time. We have to learn to make a list and prioritize. Thanks for sharing Abubakar.
Dia,
My friend, yes of course list and prioritizing helps. Thank you for taking the time to comment.
The events of life always seem to be things that are beyond our control and yet they are predominantly negative. Is this because life is negative or because we are trained to be negative?
I have noted that one event in September is revived every year. To me that is really strange. Why do we expend all that energy focusing on something that happened that was beyond our control? If this is the norm then surely all the bad events that occurred worldwide should be remembered as well? If so how morbid our lives would be.
It would be much more beneficial for us to focus on good events instead. Perhaps we can change things by being calm and relaxed whilst focusing on the good things and blessing we have received.
Andre,
I can’t agree with you more. In my opinion, life has its share of good and bad (which are subjective feelings anyway) events stored for all of us, but I also think that we definitely are trained to dwell more on the negative than the positive side of any event.
Thank you for sharing with us your valuable thoughts on the subject.
When I was 22 and married with a four year old, a two year old and twin newborns I used to go to bed crying because I was so overwhelmed. I also had a business I ran from home. Hubs had two jobs to support us. His words to me were,”You can do this, you’ll get up tomorrow and just put one foot in front of the other all day long.” I did and it worked. Remember “This too shall pass.” I’m sending loving thoughts in your direction;)
So sweet of you Tess. I’m doing exactly the same. Thanks a lot.
Great thoughts … I, too, feel our focus, what we are choosing to focus on, can help us get through tough spots.
When I found my life turned upside down as my health did a sudden 360 and I was diagnosed with Lou Gehrig’s disease ( I had always been active and into healthy eating!) the anger and out of control feelings hovered over me daily.
One day my husband told me every time a negative or overwhelming thought/feeling hit me to tell myself, “No Free Rent!” To be honest my reaction was a blank stare followed with a “huh?” Then he explained I didn’t have to give any area of my mind over to unwanted, unhealthy and depressing thinking … in essence I own the space so I can control what resides there. It was difficult at first but I finally got to the point where I could control what I was focusing on each day … and a sense of happiness returned.
Fast forward to this year and I am diagnosed with Breast cancer and have to have a mastectomy. Once again my focus has been skewed with overwhelming thoughts however, because of the emotional tools I’ve learned to implement, I’m getting my positive focus back.
I sure wish I knew about your funnel because I do believe, no matter what we are dealing with, once we get a grasp on what we need to focus on we will be able to keep moving forward – passing quickly the risk of bitterness from taking over.
Keep your funnel close by and I hope you are moving forward in managing whatever “stuff” life has thrown at you!
Peppy,
You sure are a brave and wise soul. My best wishes are with you and with your spirit I am sure you’ll over come all the challenges that you are facing in your life.
Thank you so much for visiting and commenting.
Abubakar
I have never thought of using the funnel principle – but it is true what you have said. Focus on one small thing. There have been times that I have done exactly that and have not realized the importance of what I have been doing.
I hate to think of you feeling that you are a football. I use that to describe how my head feels after a migraine. Being a football is exhausting. My thoughts are with you.
Marion
Thanks a lot Marion. You are a good friend and I appreciate your concern. Sometimes in life, things tend to get out of hand, and it’s just that I am passing through one of those phases.
I’ll be back to normal insanity soon.
Nothing lasts forever, my friend…and that is a blessing.
What helps me in such events is the awareness that what is happening is happening for some reason and so it is best to see whatever wisdom can be learned and move forward. Sometimes it is hard to do but when you look back, you can see where it took you and often it led to something greater. The thing is that it just may not feel like it when you are going through it!
Nadia,
You are very right and thank you, ss always, for your kind words of wisdom my friend.
Great post. I really like the concept of focusing on the light at the end of the funnel. I think it is really sound advice and often times it is easy to get so caught up in all that is going wrong, that you overlook the importance of focusing on the fact that things will always pass and get better. Thanks for the great advice and recommendation. I will definitely put it to use the next time I feel like a football
Thank you Sibyl for your comment. Things going wrong can really suck your energy if you don’t know how to face that downward emotional momentum. Hope you don’t feel like a football ever.
Abubakar,
This is how I am feeling right now with my life and its juggling around me. What has worked for me is similar to funnel is to take one moment in time and drop all others tasks in my life for the moment until I get a hold of the wave! Slowly, I know, I will get back to my normal routine life and I hope you will too.
Preeti,
I can understand your situation but I won’t say I’m sorry to hear that, because I know you are wise enough and strong enough to overcome anything that life may throw at you.