How to Find the Happiness that Lasts Forever
Happiness is like a slippery fish.
You see it dancing in the wine glass. You see it smiling behind the face of some good looking man or woman.
You see it lurking near your promotion letter from your organization. You see it stacked away in your bank account etc.
Like I said, happiness is like a slippery fish. You see it. You get near to it. Sometimes you touch it. Sometimes you even get to hold it in your palm for awhile, and then again it slips out of your hands and swims away.
Luring you, exciting you, making you feel depressed, down and sad for not possessing it forever. Your search for happiness is endless. Starting right from your first breath to your last, everything you do in between is basically done so you may feel happy.
This feeling of happiness always amazes me. It makes me contemplate. It makes me curious. It makes me ask questions like, “What is happiness anyway, and why the heck do we seek it so badly, so relentlessly?”
Earlier on my blog I wrote a post, 3 Strategies to Make You Feel Happy Again. In this post I wrote about 3 practical tips that can help you to move from a depressing state of mind to a more happier state of mind.
Then again I wrote another post, How to Make Yourself Happy Again, which basically helps you to get over your consistent negative thought patterns by forcing you to get out of yourself and focus your mental energies on the well being of other people around you, which eventually results in making you feel happy.
Yesterday, I was checking my Google Analytics Stats and here is a screenshot of the top keywords that brought visitors to my blog.
As you will notice that, “feel happy again” is the most recurring term that people are using and landing on my site for.
This hunger for happiness is the driving force behind all our actions.
People are not happy. In spite of all the material possessions and all the information available on how to feel happy, they are simply unable to feel happy.
Their want for happiness is consistent. They want to be happy forever.
They manage to feel happy only for a fraction of time and then again they somehow fall out of graces with the “Queen Happiness”.
And as far as I know about the history and evolution of human race, this exact pattern has been repeating itself for eons.
It has been a quest for centuries. It crosses the boundaries of all races, religions, sects and generations.
We are all bounty hunters and we are all in this quest for happiness together. It doesn’t matter what our ages are, where we live, what we do, how rich or poor we are financially, the only thing that matters for us is how happy we feel we are.
Now I have observed and read and researched and experimented a lot in my life. I have been through depression also and I have felt the moments of ecstasy too. I have lived through a wide range of the whole spectrum of human emotions in my 39 years in this life time, just like you have in yours.
There are two main distinctions about happiness that I have finally come to realize and those two distinctions are what I want to convey to you in this article foremost.
1. HAPPINESS AND PLEASURE ARE TWO DIFFERENT CONCEPTS
Most of the people are unable to differentiate between happiness and pleasure. They are two distinctly different concepts all together.
Simply put, pleasure is a short term feeling of elation which you may feel by doing something positive or negative.
A simple example will be that you may feel pleasure by making love to the person you love (positive action) and you may also feel pleasure by getting drunk (negative action).
Happiness, and I mean true happiness is not dependent or related to pleasure. Do not mix them together. If you think that you will feel happy by drinking beer this evening with your friends, you are wrong. You will only experience pleasure, but not happiness.
Money can buy you pleasure, and a lot of it too, but not happiness.
2. HAPPINESS IS AN INTERNAL EXPERIENCE TOTALLY INDEPENDENT OF EXTERNAL FACTORS
You experience happiness when it arises out of your soul.
True happiness is not dependant on your spouse’s behavior, work achievements, children’s grades, social status, bank accounts, vacations, leisure, luxury etc.
True happiness that your soul seeks is an internal phenomenon. When your soul is content and is maintaining a nourishing relationship with the Divine, only then you get to experience true happiness.
And this is the happiness that lasts. It doesn’t come and go. It stays with you. Inside you. It becomes a part of you.
It radiates from your being so much so that people who come near you start feeling happy and content as well. Just your presence, mere presence, changes the whole energetic output of your surroundings.
And no matter what calamity may strike you, it stands by your side, always. Since it does not arise from outside factors, the influence of external factors over it is zero.
How beautifully Jiddu Krishnamurti explained it.
I am not going to say anything this morning which will give mere happiness, mere satisfaction to the suffering soul, because no individual, it does not matter who he is – a Buddha, a Christ, a Krishna – can give that happiness from the outside.
What He can do – and does do – is to awaken the Divinity which abides in each one of us, a Divinity which shows the path to true Enlightenment, to true happiness.
-Jiddu Krishnamurti
NOW THE QUESTION ULTIMATELY ARISES THAT HOW TO BE IN THAT SOUL-STATE OF TRUE HAPPINESS?
Unfortunately there is no scientific formula. There is no single path. Each one of us have to find his own path. We are all unique and all of us have our destinies guiding us in different directions.
But there is one thing that you can depend on in your quest for true happiness, and that is that you have to go within.
The answer lies in the question. It always does. Your search for true happiness is exactly what will lead you on to the right path for you.
Given your sincerity, longing and determination, the path will unfold itself to you and right people at the right time will start appearing in your life.
Right events will start shaping your life. Synchronicities will become a part of your daily routine and gradually but certainly you will reach the spiritual stage where the happiness that you have been longing for, will uncover its face in front of you.
And when the veil will be lifted, you will realize that the happiness you were running after, was there inside you all along. All you had to do was to remove the dust, the misconceptions, the resistance of your logical mind, the false grip of your ego and your internalized insecurities.
Once again, I’ll quote Krishnamurti.
When the mind goes beyond the thought of “the me,” the experiencer, the observer, the thinker, then there is a possibility of a happiness that is incorruptible.
-Jiddu Krishnamurti
Go within…
SHARING IS CARING
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Abubakar,
This is super great post. We all often seek happiness and we think we know what will make us happy but how often we are wrong. After getting something we always seeked, happiness or success seems hollow. True happiness comes from within and being content with what we have but lot complex to achieve. Thanks for the enlightening post.
Preeti thank you for your kind words.
Yeah we are usually wrong in our perception of happiness and once we become aware of its true nature only then our journey towards it starts.
WOW. This is such a great post. Beautiful words and a beautiful message. Loved these lines “When your soul is content and is maintaining a nourishing relationship with the Divine, only then you get to experience true happiness.
And this is the happiness that lasts. It doesn’t come and go. It stays with you. Inside you. It becomes a part of you.
It radiates from your being so much so that people who come near you start feeling happy and content as well. Just your presence, mere presence, changes the whole energetic output of your surroundings. ”
It is hard to go within, but is a terrific journey. Thanks for the fantastic wisdom and words. God bless
Thank you Uzma.
I can understand where you are coming from.
Every journey is hard till the time we are finally ready for it.
As they say, there is a time and season for everything.
You are on your journey already and I know you'll go places.
Now this is a real gem of a post – The difference between pleasure and happiness, while I thought I knew it, now is crystal clear – I do know money can bring heaps of pleasure and borderline happiness but not all by itself. The inner sense of happiness has to come from within! Very well written – I so enjoyed reading this……Thank you Abubakar for the great Thursday insight for me!
You are very welcome Farnoosh and do know that your support means a lot to me.
In Sanskrit we have a word, 'Samriddhi' which means fulfillment in every aspect, resulting in a feel good factor. It may be in the form of happiness at home or deriving it again by spending time with a good friend who makes every second of your life worth living. I define pleasure as temporary because it is connected with 'Maya' in this materialistic world of which we are a part. Happiness is like a butterfly which if you try to catch flies away from you but if you are calm ,comes quietly and perches on your shoulder. Reading Sunny's blog really gives me great pleasure and I sincerely wish to learn a lot from the experiences of such a wonderful friend doing a superb task! Kudos to you Sunny…….
Nabanita,
Beautiful way of putting it, "Happiness is like a butterfly which if you try to catch flies away from you but if you are calm, comes quietly and perches on your shoulder."
And secondly I'd prefer that my blog brings happiness to your life instead of mere pleasure.
Thank you so much for your kind words.
Abubakar: I am still looking for the words … Amazing post. Absolutely amazing and so insightful. There are some posts that speak right to the soul and those posts are always so special. Thank you for giving me that experience with your words and this post. We all have to find our own answers, as you explained, and posts like this are great guides in the right direction. Thank you for sharing your insights and wisdom … we all really do need to go within.
Sibyl,
I'm glad you could see value in it because when I look around, the majority among us are running madly after pleasures only.
I'm humbled by your opinion. Thank you so much for your constant encouragement. I value that.
Oh so right on number 2. Happiness is an internal experience. It's just something you feel, and as many studies have shown, it really doesn't depend on any outside influences. It's a hard lesson to learn though, each person really has to find this out for themselves.
Eric,
Thanks you for your comment.
Hard lesson or not, but it sure is "The Lesson" to learn in a lifetime.
Abubakar,
It really is interesting how much of a fleeting emotion happiness can be. It seems like right when I notice I'm happy, the emotion has escaped me. I also think that many people believe that happiness is something that should be easily attainable, as opposed to something we may have to seek out. Your distinction between happiness and pleasure is of great value. It is hard to tell the different between those things that can make us "feel good" and actual happiness. There is a much more spiritual connotation to finding happiness, and I think that states such as compassion and inspiration provide us opportunities to be happy.
Joe,
Thank you for visiting and leaving your feedback.
You are right in saying that, "There is a much more spiritual connotation to finding happiness, and I think that states such as compassion and inspiration provide us opportunities to be happy."
Wow, that list of google search terms is stunning. And sad that so many are seeking happiness outside of themselves. While there are lifestyle choices we can make that support the body's ability to experience happiness – the basics such as good food, sunshine, sleep and exercise – as a Wise One once said, "Happiness is an inside job."
P.S. I discovered your blog via http://thedailybrainstorm. Thanks for a great post!
Welcome Linda and yeah it is really the case that most people are not happy and are unable to feel happiness consistently in their lives.
Wonderfully said that, "Happiness is an inside job."
Thank you for visiting my blog and your comment.
Hey Abubakar__Great post. This is amazing topic, happiness is one of the most important things human beings seek and I think you have done a great job clarifying exactly what it means. Quite often I have heard many people say they have achieved such and such goal and then immediately said is this all there is?__Quite offten once a goal is achieved we feel unfulfilled. True fulfillment that we are all seeking is captured beautifully by Jiddu Krishnamurti. Thank you for this inspirational post.
Stan,
Welcome to the blog and thank you for your valuable comment. Like you pointed out, that quite often, after reaching a goal and celebrating the success, people ask, "Now what?"
That is short term happiness and I can't articulate the ever lasting feeling of happiness the way Krishnamurti have already done.
Great post!
In the quran it says: (verily in the remembrance of Allah do hearts find tranquility).
It is patience that we need to do the things that lead to happiness, but we are impatient.
If we were certain that we had found our way to happiness patience would come easier. A lot of us are not sure what would bring us happiness therefore we find patience, extremely difficult if not impossible.
Sarah,
Welcome to the blog and thank you for sharing your thoughts. Indeed we do need patience.